Category: inspirations

where’s your head at?

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations, Pilates, Uncategorized

If you have read my blog you may have figured out by now that I have struggled to surrender and soften my efforts.  I have had a tendency to be too disciplined and sometimes ‘overdo’ it.  I have started this blog in part to help myself take my own advise to be more self-compassionate, truly listen, and believe in my own intuition.  This takes incredible trust and love of self!

I believe that by writing this blog, I have become a better listener, but still, it is an evolving and imperfect journey along with everything else. 

More recently, approximately March 2021, I over stretched, strained something in my neck.  Fast forward to now, November 18, 2021, I am doing much better!  I do still struggle with muscle tightness depending on what I am doing but do feel equipped to navigate my discomfort with the many lessons I have learned from being in relentless pain these past several months.  

My husband, Pontus, who is an osteopath, was able to work on me which no doubt is, pretty special, but with everything else, it also has its’ challenges!  I know it was hard for him to deal with me especially after having to care for his patients all day long.  He was tired and impatient and I was also impatient, in pain, and wanting clear answers to explain my uncertain state.  Regardless, I am very lucky to have my husband.  He knows my story, my body, and my tendencies and was undeniably helpful in my healing & recovery.

Pontus believed ‘some’ of my incredible discomfort was most likely caused by a rotation at the base of my cervical spine where I had my disk replacement b/t C6 and C7 in 2017.  I must have exasperated this rotation.  I could speculate forever on why?…but understand that it is simply a consequence to my tendencies to ‘do.’  At times, my pain sometimes was so bad that it encompassed my whole right side body, from my right side occiput to my right low back, but sometimes I was such in a flare state that I had irritation that continued down all the way to my right foot!  Continuing to breastfeed through my pain was a blessing and a curse.  Pontus was and still helps me de-rotate my upper thoracic/cervical spine with muscle energy technique, where I get stuck rotated to the left.  He also advised that I practice some daily muscle energy work in my upper spine to help strengthen and stabilize this very unstable area of my body.  I still perform muscle energy in my neck daily!!  In addition to Pontus manually working on me, I did accupuncture and/or massage weekly at times.  Although these modalities helped short-term, they were not able to stick and help long term. 

Due to my pre-existing conditions in both my neck and my old compression fracture in my low back I had MRIs of my lumbar and cervical spine, a bone scan, and blood work done to make sure the pain I was experiencing wasn’t more serious.  Luckily, the tests showed no significant information to explain my discomfort.  This was also  a blessing and a curse!  Sometimes I thought, is it all in my head!?  Quite possibly!  I do know that my head played a significant role, both in how I positioned it physically and also metaphorically speaking.

Are you wearing your head in front of your heart? Or are you holding your head with your heart?

From as early as grade school I can remember being taller than most everyone in my class including all the boys, I was very insecure about this, this continued all the way into high school, where I would purposefully slouch and hang my head to one side so I would be a level to my other peers. I look back at this and wonder why I didn’t stand tall and be proud of my height?  As you already know, I know the answer to my own question!  I was not secure in who I was, felt powerless and unworthy to be me.  Fortunately, after experiencing a tumultuous couple of years in all facets of my life, I hit rock bottom my freshman year in college, but in the end, I was able to choose me!  I truly did a full circle, my self image changed drastically for the better and I started to love myself more and more.  Interestingly, not only did my self image transform, but also how I held myself changed, including how I positioned my head.  My posture wasn’t perfect however, and its been evolving (I believe) for the better ever since, of course along with my own self image.:)

Currently, my posture has suffered with the demands of caring for a new baby and also my tendencies to “do” and neglect what my body is telling me.  Pepper is now 14 months, and although she is still quite petite …23 Ibs, its been a lot of holding, breast feeding, bathing, feeding, twisting turning etc etc.  The steady demands of caring for  Pepper and the stress I put a on myself has definitely taken a toll on my posture!  This coupled with loose ligaments and general instability especially at L1/T12 from my old compression fracture and disk replacement between C6/C7 has been difficult for me to sustain freedom and ease in my spine!

I am writing this post to reflect on my experience these past several months in hopes that what I say may help you, if you find that you are struggling with neck, shoulder, back, body pain.   I hope that you will read this feeling some hope that your pain will go away and that there are simple things you can do to help yourself.  

I learned somewhat quickly that alleviating my pain temporarily was as simple as taking the time to align where my head was at, both from a metaphorical and physiological standpoint. It’s interesting how the 2 affect one another.  Furthermore, My pain significantly lessened when I physically reminded myself to hold my head with my heart, instead of forward of my heart which is where it wants to go.   My head also, naturally aligned more with my heart when I committed more time for self care.  This is not a simple action to take when you have a newborn!!  I found it to be very beneficial to work from my “head” first, not only physically with my posture, starting at my head and allowing the alignment benefits to cascade down, but also in my own thoughts!  I definitely had my moments of playing a victim to my pain…especially in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep!  However, this attention I would give to my pain lessened the attention I would give to taking the steps to feeling better and seeing the joy and beauty that was in me and that also surrounding me. 

Below is a brief summary of some ideas/practices that helped me feel better!  Remember the following are practices and ideas, and most if not all of the below are things I still work on and practice daily to keep me feeling better…

PHYSICAL PRACTICES – First you need to align and “wear your head over your heart!”  Then do the following…

-practice muscle energy from all sides of your skull with the heel of your hand to strengthen & stabilize…isometric exercises.

-“wear your smile from ear to ear” practice keeping the base of your chin in and down towards your throat.  Slight chin tuck.

-extend the roof of your mouth to the crown of your head

-“Stand your ground,”  Stand tall and be proud of who you are.

-in general, make smaller more precise movements.  Progress takes time and steady practice – little by little, bit by bit…!

MENTAL PRACTICES – 

-“What is the lesson?” What if I am experiencing this pain to help someone else not have to experience pain?  How can I use this experience to help and serve others?

-“Less ego and control, more universal and flow.”  Soften, relax, breathe and let be

-“Forgive, no self judgement”

-“Do less and Be more”

Lastly, if you’re hyper mobile, unstable, have pre-existing conditions, and a mover like me, you may want to consider doing prolo-therapy or PRP(platelet rich plasma) for your vulnerable areas, especially if you have good, healthy blood.  I did undergo PRP in both my low back around my old compression fracture and also more recently around my disk replacement in my cervical spine.  I know it has made a positive impact.  I am noticeable more stable in my ligaments and joints and therefore, experiencing less pain and persistent irritation caused from the instability.

I have a class on my Vimeo account – “upper body tune up” I recently made that shows some of the physical practices I would do to help me with my pain.

I hope this helps and please reach out with feedback or questions.

Aloha,

Brooke

Vagus Baby!

by lebureauetc, posted in gut instinct, inspirations, Uncategorized, vagus nerve

Aside from reading all of Paulo Cohleo’s books (I find his perspectives and stories to be so heartfelt.)  I do not do much reading these days, nor did I EVER before I had a newborn.  If I’m lucky, I’ll read 1-3 books a year, usually when we vacation in Hawaii. My latest book that I read, although not a Paulo Cohleo story, is called Cured, by Jeffery Rediger MD.  Jeffery Rediger researched why people have remissions from terminal illnesses.  He explains the science behind these miracles, instead of just calling them flukes of nature.  There has to be an explanation, right?  He reveals 4 pillars that played a significant role in helping one heal.  

1 – healing your nutrition; 2 – healing your immunity; 3 – healing your identity; and 4 – healing your stress response.

In todays post I will talk more to the 4th pillar of healing our stress response and how I believe this work to heal how we respond to stress could also significantly help us find and sustain more physical integrity and a sense of well-being within.

Dr Rediger discusses how stress is inevitable as we deal with stress everyday.  It’s how we respond to the stressors in our life that is important.  If we can somehow learn to be more conscious of what we do when we are stressed, maybe we can make little changes to alter our tendencies, and instead, unstick ourselves from our unconscious patterns.    These unconscious patterns, I believe, affect not only our mental and emotional state of well-being, but also our physical body.  I believe our body can suffer and can continue to suffer from the simple memory of “what happened to us” and be in pain until we can change how we respond to our stressors differently.

So how can we change our stress response?

I will start by giving you these 2 following excerpts – 

(pg. 183) Think of how Often you’ve used the phrase gut feeling for a broken heart; you had butterflies in your stomach.  You feel different emotions in different parts of your body for good reason: areas are hot beds for neural receptors. Recent research is showing that we actually have three brains: the head brain, the heart brain and they gut brain and their health and development depend on keeping them in balance and alignment. With the vagus nerve as a connecting cord, emotions flood through our system in the form of neural messages and hormones. Some signals begin in the gut or the heart and flow upstream to the head brain, while others cascade from above. In this way, our thoughts and emotions have both instant and long lasting effects on our biological systems: nervous, endocrine, immune.

(pg. 182) The vagus nerve exits the brain stem at the base of your skull deep in your neck. Press your fingers to the pulse points on your neck and you are close as you can get to your vagus nerve. From that spot under your fingers it shoots down to your heart and beyond, where it regulates heartbeat and dozen of other vital functions. If you have doubts about how deep and rapid the connection is between the mind and the body, the vagus is that literal link between the two – a thick humming power line that runs from your brain to your gut.

This idea that we have 3 brains is fascinating and even more intriguing to me is that they are all connected to our vagus nerve that regulates how we respond to what is happening.  Stress affects me in curious ways, physically I experience many things depending on my current state, but recently more irritation in my neck and right side body(probably due to all the holding and breast feeding I’ve been doing).  I also generally experience a lack of inner flow and circulation.  It is a horrible feeling to feel so stuck inside.  I can feel frozen regardless of how much physical movement I do, foods I eat, etc, etc…So to learn that the vagus nerve controls most of our body functions and our ability to rest/digest and connect to our parasympathetic nervous system was huge insight for me.  How then can I tone my vagus nerve so it’s able to help me relax and help me better respond to simple stressors?  I learned that, toning my vagus nerve to help me relax is relatively simple. However, just because it’s simple, doesn’t mean it is easy!!! So I am writing this post, to reflect on what I could do better in my efforts to fine tune the way I respond to stressors in my day to day to create more feelings of ease. 

As I mentioned above, the “gut” is a brain and integrated with both our heart and our mind with our vagus nerve.  This idea made me contemplate the connection between listening to my gut instinct and how that generally has helped me make “better decisions” – of corse when I chose to listen to it!   Studying in France, marrying my husband, Pontus, and switching careers to focus on teaching Pilates and Yoga are 3 decisions I have made that reflect my choice to listen to my GUT.  All those decisions felt really good in my whole body and I cannot always say that has been true for other experiences and decisions. As a human being, I believe we have been more programmed to listen to our mind and heart.  It’s easier to give priority to these 2 brains, especially the mind, as most times this is the logical thing to do!  The whole idea of listening with my gut requires me to trust in myself and in order to trust myself, I need to have at least a general understanding of who I am at my core.

In my youth, (no offense Mom and Dad, I love you and so grateful for you) I often felt as if I had no value.  I didn’t feel like I mattered, as I was not encouraged to have a voice and did not feel listened to.  I was never included in my parents decision process from the schools I went to, to the activities I participated in… I was the child and they were the parent and I did things because “they said so.”  Oh, how I hate that saying!  I believed my role was to be quiet, respectful, grateful, do good in school and do what my parents told me to do, including the Catholic schools I attended.  I should be grateful, no doubt, as I had a lot of opportunities other kids did not. I know my parents were doing the best they knew how, and wanted to give me the best!  However, life is life, and most of us know by now that things are not as always as they seem!  From this memory, I believe it is important to feel like you have a voice in order to feel love and have trust in yourself. 

If you think about it, “listing to our gut” requires us to trust in ourselves.   Listening more to our inner voice is just a way to be true ourselves and love our actions/decisions.   This love for self and what we do tones our vagus nerve keeping us out of our sympathetic nervous system and therefore, more easily able to deal with STRESS.  Our gut instinct should never be ignored!  It’s definitely an up and down and circular journey for me, but as always, I believe, it’s worth the effort!  For me, listening to my gut brings me back to me!  Knowing this helps me to remind myself (over and over again) to not look past my own inner knowing and self worth.  Maybe you would you would benefit from this reminder about yourself?

Along with the idea of listening to my gut instinct, I feel it’s easier for me to listen well when my gut is physically aligned more with my heart and mind.  Grounding, in general, has always been a challenge for me and something I have been trying to cultivate my whole life.  Since a very young age, I have been told several different times that I lead more with my ‘upper body.’  Growing up playing various sports, my coaches all tried to get me to run with my feet under me instead of behind me.  they would say,  “Brooke, you run with your heart.”  It is true, I did!   My lower body followed and tried to keep up!  I look back now and feel maybe I was just ‘running to please’ without ever stopping to ask if I was pleasing myself in what I was doing?  I wonder if this lack of connection between my physical upper and lower bodies translated to my lack of ability to be able to align my gut with my other 2 brains and therefore my vagus nerve?    Maybe that’s why I love how I feel now after practicing Pilates and Yoga; where these 2 disciplines encourage me to find and connect to a plumb line and work from a place of whole body integrity?   Hmm?

A strong part of me has always believed that you can change your own destiny. Believing my thoughts reflect my current state.  This belief structure works great when things are “good” In my life. The events, stuff, experiences that I believe (especially in the moment) are not “good” I have to wonder… Did I subconsciously ask for this to happen to me, what lesson is the universe trying to teach me now?

Regardless of what your beliefs are it is quite interesting to look at your life from this perspective.  Although, it’s sometimes easier to put the blame on something or someone else for things that happen that are not what you “think you desire” it can be illuminating to play with your own life pieces in an effort to make sense of what makes you YOU! 

I hope you remember to align your gut, heart, and mind, in and out of your workouts, and truly listen to what your GUT is saying.

Here are some other fun excerpt regarding the vagus nerve from Cured

(pg. 184)The vagus nerve is like a muscle the more you use it the stronger it becomes. using the vagus-stimulating it through everything from deep breathing to connecting with a friend or partner is like flexing your biceps as you lift weights, it increases its strength, flexibility, and elasticity. And just like with physical exercise, the more you use it, the better you get at using it, and the more health benefits you reap.

(pg.185)What truly tones your vagus nerve are small moments of connection –  a sort of falling in love, if you will, with the people who surround you on a day-to-day basis, everyone from your husband or wife to children to the barista you’re getting to know that your corner coffee shop.  It could even be a total stranger you meet on the street.

(pg. 189) When the parasympathetic is engaged the vagus activates face-heart connection. At the metaphorical level, it opens your heart to others, and on a literal level, both relaxes and constricts different facial muscles that help you to smile, focus, and express warmth and interest so that you can connect with the people you’re speaking with. When you’re in chronic fighter flight mode, you without even realizing it –  a flatter or forced affect. Fight or flight stiffens your body, inhibits the warmth of your gaze, limits the genuineness of your smile, and overall inhibits your ability to make connections, leading those opportunities for micro moments of love to slip by…..

Therefore a person and fight or flight will have more difficulty, therefore connecting with others, and essentially healing their own selves.

Connecting to a ‘BIGGER PICTURE’

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations, Pilates, Uncategorized, YOGA

Aloha!

Happy new year to you all.  I have a new Pilates video to share with you on my vimeo account.  The practice begins with 10 minutes of simple yoga salutations to ‘wake up’ the body before diving into a 30 minute Pilates mat workout.  The practice is a perfect practice for the morning, especially when you are not at home and have the luxury of space.  You can expect to stay on your mat from start to finish…no side lying leg kicks here.

The one instruction I give, sprinkled throughout  the workout, is “Breathe into your back body.”  The back body is beneficial to be aware of, not only because it gives you a cue or reference point from which you create more inner space, but also because it is symbolic of the universal energy within us.  The front body on the other hand is symbolic of our ego or of a more singular energy.  Although both are necessary and good, the back body is the unseen energy and therefore more of a challenge to be aware of, making it easier for our ‘egos’ to take center stage.

The practice of Pilates is all about taking a step back and softening our egos in order to connect us to our back.  This concentrated physical effort to balance our front with our back (ego with universal), I believe, can also indirectly connect us to something ‘bigger’ than ourselves.  Clearly a strong and tall ego will allow us to move forward and reach for our desires. However, too much ego, without the consideration of the unseen and universal back energy, could surely deplete and exhaust us. Balancing the two, with a slight edge to the back body, will allow for something better.

Personally, I have experienced both extremes!  I have had too much ‘ego’ with too much discipline and rigidity in my practices, without considering the current situation and others involved, making for an unhappy ending.  Also, in my physical practice, most of you know that I have a love affair with backbends.  I love them so much as I feel invigorated every time I do one.  However, I have learned that if I do not take the time to also balance my practice of backbends with something to bring my back and me back to neutral, all the back bending or emphasis on opening up my front body, is like drinking too many cups of coffee.  We all know too much coffee, although oh so good, can lead you to feel anxious, jittery, and just not well.  That said, it is valuable for me to also incorporate some basic forward folds (as I breathe in my back body) in my practice of backbends.  

The practice of Pilates encourages us to connect to our backs, both physically and metaphorically.  It’s a beautiful and humbling practice that hopefully reminds us all to soften more, let go more, yield more, forgive more, be okay not to be “right” more, all without losing our capacity to love ourselves and stand tall in who we are.

I hope you breathe into your back…

Aloha, Brooke 

delighting in a “Bigger Picture” – Kukio Beach, HI

Pieces

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations, Pilates

Pieces

Trusting myself enough to let go, in an effort to better connect and grow.

 

I returned from LA a few weeks ago.  What a fantastic time with The Vintage Pilates staff, and other “Work” participants.  I feel so blessed to be a part of this beautiful like-minded yet diverse community. My understanding of how I can use the method of Pilates to better myself in “The Work” is coming together and I know this is just the beginning.  In this post I will be reflecting on the idea of connection; how can we better connect all our pieces to what or whomever we are interacting with, to better understand ourselves?

Jay Grimes, Pilates elder, along with the amazing Vintage Pilates Teachers for “The Work”, will usually never end a session without first saying; “do not neglect your ‘partner’” (meaning the apparatus; whether that be the reformer, the chair, barrels, cadillac, guillotine, ped-a-pul, etc).  Jay would then typically follow this statement by saying “KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and JUST MOVE.”

Although not a Jay Grimes nor a Vintage Pilates saying, this next quote(also a favorite of mine from the movie “EAT, PRAY, LOVE”) complements what I believe Jay and my teachers for “The Work” are saying…

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person that you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates, they come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you.”

I think Jay and my other teachers of “the Work” would agree that their idea of a ‘partner’ is our ‘soulmate.’  We should then treat the apparatus we are using with that awareness and allow it to teach us something about ourselves.   The more connections  we make with our ‘partner’ the more lessons we should receive.  Hopefully, we come away from our workout or our interaction having learned something about who we are.  Perhaps also discovering something we need to work on.  Can’t have one without the other.

I believe finding more connection is different for everyone.   Perhaps for some of you, the struggle lies in concentrating on connecting to your “partner”; for others it is trusting what your partner is revealing to you and giving in to this trust as you continue…   Personally, after this past trip to LA, I am discovering that when I trust more in my “partner” and act more instinctual I am able to make stronger connections and learn more.  Listening and trusting what I feel is right and acting accordingly is definitely hard work, but I believe a challenge worth fighting for.  Be persistent and listen to yourself!

How about you?   How do you stay connected to your “partner?”  Do you need to trust more in yourself to connect all your pieces like me?  Maybe you just need more of a steady effort?  Some need more of one than the other.   We all need to find our own ratio.

I hope you all can trust your “partner” and continue to strengthen and make new connections that bring meaning to you.  Every day is a new day and another opportunity to expand your awareness and your connections and put the little pieces together one by one.  If you feel disconnected and loose your pieces trust your partner more!  Can you trust and listen to what your connections are telling you and act accordingly?  Takes a lot of courage to follow through!   You can do it!  I believe in you:).

Do it right, keep it tight!

Brooke

ps – check out the song “Pieces” by Andrew Belle

 

I’incompris and Le Bureau?

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations

 

l’incompris?

I first came across this beautiful french word, while tasting a bottle of muscat named “l’incompris” at a cellar in the french town, Chateau Neuf du Pape. I was instantly attracted to this bottle of wine for its’ english translation, “mis-understood.” It was love at first sight! It possessed unbelievable undertones of white currant and had just enough spice to keep you guessing. Delicious? Complex? YES! However, I will always love this wine more for it’s name.

I think we all can relate to being misunderstood. Can’t you? Daily arguments, conflicts, and disagreements, in my opinion, are simply a miscommunication. As a Pilates teacher and movement lover, I also believe, the issues and conflicts that reside within us are also a miscommunication. Take exercise, for example, many of us, may think we are doing an exercise properly and should be getting better results. Unfortunately, maybe you find that there are no shifts, no little transformations, no results! Worse, maybe you feel as if you are creating more tension and un-ease in your body. What is the problem? Is it because you are simply getting older or is there an underlying reason? That is for all of us to decide and figure out for ourselves as we create our own story.

What do I believe? I believe as we age, yes, we will need to be more accountable for what we do and also value how we live and live our lives with purpose. The earlier we start this process the better. I try to incorporate things in my life that support me to live better, feel better, and fill me up with joy.

So, getting back to my question of why a strong willed practice may not yield any positive results…maybe chew on the following:

-Perhaps, you are not executing the exercise in your body the way you should be?
-Maybe, you are performing an exercise too much and creating more imbalance rather than balance in your body?

I have been really good at the above! I am guilty of creating a lot of my own imbalances in my body and in my life. It has taken me a lot of practice to learn and better understand my nature and to navigate my body. Looking back I can say it was part of the process, but maybe I could have streamlined the process:)>. Imbalances that I have contributed to are a cause of not doing the ‘right work’ for me! Maybe you can agree with me when I say, it’s fun to be good at something, and in my case, I have been good at “doing” and “doing more.” I rarely paused and asked myself, if what I was “doing” really necessary? helpful? In fact, I can say that I have been good at overdoing things all my life. Not just with exercise, but with many aspects of my life. I call it the “Bendock (maiden name) phenomenon”. I am sure my brother and sister may get a ‘kick out’ of this statement! Luckily, I am also very strong willed and persistent, and I do not mind humiliating myself sometimes in search of the truth.

Reflecting upon and becoming more aware of my unique tendencies and who I am, I know “my work” is to be aware of my tendency to overdo something (just because I can) and instead pull back. With this self-knowledge I have been able to unravel and untangle myself from some of my own messes. Although, I would like to say that I am done with all the listening and practice, I know that this is a process that will continually challenge and inspire me to learn more as there is always more ‘right’ work to do.

If you ‘step outside’ yourself and reflect on your nature, habits, and movement patterns what does it tell you?

Le Bureau?

My studio name is Le Bureau (the office in french). Why a french name? I love France, the language, the people, the food, the smell, the Gauloises, the je ne sais quoi. I lived in France for a year in college and it was a time in my life that I was on my own, out of my comfort zone. I had no choice but to get to know myself and more importantly believe in myself so I could navigate in a foreign land. In France, I discovered that I was the only person in charge of me, and that I should worry about myself instead of being so concerned with what others were doing! Being in a foreign land is very similar to building a rapport with oneself. It takes steady fluent communication and a lot of persistent WORK to know yourself….what a task it is!

I hope that my clients can feel safe to “work” on themselves in my “office” and be certain that they are doing what is right for them. I hope to help in your efforts to streamline your process of knowing yourself. It takes work to listen and be aware of your own sensations and neither I, nor anyone else, can feel the sensations you have, nor do your work for you! I hope I can be somewhat of a translator for you as you continue to deepen your own self discovery and, yes, steer you back to the midline if you stray off course.

Ultimately, as you continue to practice at Le Bureau, I hope you continue to listen to yourself and feel more and more self-reliant in your practice. My hope is for you to be able to unravel your own mis-understandings within you and learn what feels right and what you should and should not do!

“Do it Right, Keep it Tight”

Brooke

BE COURAGEOUS…

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations

Desiree Rumbaugh, one of my favorite yoga teachers always says, “LOVE IS STRONGER THAN FEAR.” Although sometimes this statement may not always be easy to live by, I do know that if I stay connected to my heart and to the people and the things that truly inspire me, I find that I can agree whole heartedly! I know from my experience that when something ‘feels wrong’ it probably is! Just how when you have unease in your body, usually everything in life is somehow also troubled and uncomfortable. These sensations tell you that there needs to be a change! However, I also know that it is fearful to change and simply easier to keep up the same routine. However, is ‘staying’ really serving you, if you feel it’s not right? What could happen if you have a little more courage and follow your heart?

Recently I withdrew my commitment to teaching at a club I had been strongly part of for over the past 4 years.

Just to give you some background….Over the past 14 years I have worked in several fitness studios and fitness health clubs from Des Moines, Iowa, Toledo, Ohio, Redondo Beach, California, Salt lake City, Utah and also here in my home town, Seattle Washington. At all of these places I had magical experiences! I met incredible people, learned amazing things and for the most part enjoyed the ride. I strongly believe magic is always present and ready to show itself if you are allowed to breathe, are passionate about what you do, and also, are not confined to the “clock in and clock out” mind set!

Uprooting and rerooting myself with all the moving has given me great opportunities to start anew several times! What a gift that has been! This has supported my transformation and growth in becoming a better person and teacher. I am passionate about teaching (and always have been and always will be), but also having the opportunity to enter a new community with a different environment challenged yet also allowed me to fine tune my skills as a teacher. Having many different teaching experiences has empowered me to know when to adjust and also how to accommodate different situations and different people.

My most recent change is actually the most exciting one. I am not moving to a different state and I do not need to say good-bye nor am I changing my position and moving to a different gym/studio facility. Rather, I am choosing to focus my teaching solely out of my home studio, Le Bureau! It’s my studio, I make the rules, and there are no procedures such as “clock in, clock out”! Most importantly, I felt it was time to move on. It did not ‘feel right’ to stay at the club any longer. I could give several reasons why I should have stayed, but it was not ‘right’ for me any longer.

I feel very lucky and fortunate that I can choose to work out of my home studio. After having more time to reflect after my recent neck surgery I learned that I wanted to streamline my efforts as a teacher and teaching out of my home is the best option for me now. This is the next step to opening a studio on larger scale which has been a dream of mine for some time. This change, I know will bring many new challenges for me, but I know it is worth the effort as long as I stay connected to my heart and what ‘feels right.’

Change can be exhausting with all the unexpected circumstances it may bring. However, when change is a result of listening to your heart I argue that one will gain a better understanding and brighter perspective that definitely makes up for any feelings of unease! Personally, I have learned that it is best to be humble and open to experience new ways of doing things. I know that if I do not listen and treat every person and situation with respect I will miss out! Every new place and experience has taught me something more about who I am and the importance of being courageous and taking time to listen.

I hope you all have several opportunities in your life to be courageous and allow you to do the things that make your heart beat and your eyes smile. Maybe ask yourself, ”does it feel right”?

Life in Control?

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations, Pilates

How was my last experience with THE WORK in LA?

Besides being a nice excuse to get away from my daily routine, soak up some needed warm sunshine, and reconnect with some wonderful inspiring people, this time I was not so thrilled to be doing “The Work…” I left Seattle in pain and knew I could not cancel my trip, and still stay in the program due to my pain. It would also not be sufficient to just go and observe. I know that they expect to see us participating, moving, and working! If I did not go and experience first hand the work in my body I would have to drop out of the program. I have worked hard to get in and stay in the program thus far, and their philosophy, which I also believe in, is that you have to experience something if you want to teach it.

What was my pain?

I had intense pain in my left neck, trapezius, and shoulder. At the time I did not know that my pain was due to a big herniation between C6 and C7. Just found out this past week (1 full week after completing my week in LA).

How was my experience?

One word can sum up my last trip to LA for “The Work,” “OOOUCH!”

How did I get my herniation?

What can I say? It’s always a dynamic! As we all know, life is just that, one messy but beautiful dynamic. Whether we like it or not it usually makes sense, if not right away then it will down the road of life. Personally, after contemplating how I got so badly injured, I would have to say that its my own damn fault. For starters, my injury has been accumulating all my life and I have done my fair share of slouching! Also, having broken my back when I was 7 at L1/T12 (another story) does not help either. I have always felt an unrelenting stickiness in my low back that I constantly try to pull out of. Maybe that’s why my love for yoga grew at such a young age? Unfortunately, my stretching efforts to get out of my low back usually only manifest up at my neck. My husband can confirm this as he hears me crack my neck every night before I get in bed after my nightly yoga stretch routine. He always warns me often that I should not crack my neck so much and that “cracking” was not a ‘good’ thing but it felt good to me and I never thought I would be where I am now.

More recently, around the beginning of February I also fell on my head. It was a nice fall, but none the less, it did have some impact and I felt the consequence in my low back and my neck the following day. If any of you Pilates Enthusiasts are familiar with an exercise called the ‘squirrel’, I was doing a variation of just that on the Cadillac with my feet in the fuzzies, except I was in a backbend and to what I recall a bit twisted. I cannot even remember how I got in that position to be honest. I was in my bi-weekly pilates session and at this particular moment I was just playing and having fun. My Pilates sessions, to be honest, are usually my “recess”:). Simple fun!

Almost 2 months after my fall, and I was still feeling a nagging tightness in my neck and upper left back. Part II of The Work was soon approaching and I was a little nervous because I knew my body was not feeling the best. I was convinced that it was just a rib or part of my upper thoracic that needed to be adjusted back into alignment. My husband, Pontus, as most of you know is a Doctor of Osteopathy and can help me time to time if i’m nice of course! I was nice(he’s usually nicer), so he did try to help me on several occasions. He was not able to manipulate what I was sure I needed to be manipulated and was blown away with how tight my left trapezius muscle and levator scapula had gotten. He advised me not to mess with it any more and just do gentle stretches and ice as he thought I had a nerve pinched.

I however, being stubborn and wanting “a fix” decided to go to a chiropractor I had seen before for iliocecal valve difficulties when I was having trouble with digestive issues. I was able to make 2 appts back to back right before I were to leave for California for The Work. I was so happy that I was able to get in and I thought I would finally be able to get some relief before the MAT portion of The Work(the most challenging module as you do not have any support from the apparatus). I had worked hard on my homework and felt prepared but I also wanted to feel better in my neck and shoulder before going into the big demanding week ahead.

My first chiropractic appt went well. The chiropractor was able to adjust my low back and also my upper thoracic. I felt some relief, but still had the nagging pain in my upper neck and left shoulder. I went back the following day and before I left Pontus said to me, “do not let him touch your neck!” However, when I arrived at the chiropractor, I said I was still feeling tight and stuck in the same places. He listened and told me that he thought he could help as he just returned from a course that was all on the neck and upper traps so I said, “ok, see what you can do.” Well, I know now that saying that was a BIG mistake! Right away I felt and heard a huge ‘POP.’ I did not know what to think…so what did i do? I continued with my day in auto pilot and even went to a yoga class and did Headstand(how stupid am I?). I should have iced! That night I was in so much pain I barely slept as my left trapezius and neck were hurting more than ever.

I left to teach that morning before I left that afternoon and was in pain the whole time and realized I even had a hard time bending over and tying my shoe laces! I called Pontus at work and asked him, “what should I do?” He said, “Brooke you will be okay, just take some pain meds, turmeric, anything to reduce inflammation and ice.” I am thinking, okay, I will be okay, just take it easy.

IN LA…

The following day, my demanding schedule was looking straight at me! On average I had 3 Pilates sessions/lessons a day. On Saturday and Sunday it was an all day MAT workshop with Jay Grimes. We must have performed the Mat sequence at least 5 times each day. It was actually okay when I was warmed up and moving and continuing to reach and create my own traction and length, but very painful to just lie down and put pressure on my back or the transition from lying to seated to standing etc. IN between moving I iced and lathered on arnica gold cream and red tiger balm like never before! Everyone knew I was not feeling the best and asked me if there was anything they could do, I thanked everyone for their concern. There were several others who were also going through some their own issues they were working out as well. One individual had a torn rotator cuff and there were also some other interesting cases! We were all in it together and I think just knowing I was not alone helped me in addition to just continuing to breathe, believe, ice, and take epson salt baths in between my sessions as I counted the days till I could go back home!

So what got me through probably the most painful week of my life(beside child birth of course)!

I know I was in pain and I needed to come up with a plan to hep myself get through the intensive week and Mat workshop with Jay Grimes. Besides reminding myself to “take one day at a time” and also calling my husband and hearing him reassure me “that everything will be okay”…I knew it was important for me to start my day off right. Some of you that I teach may here me say, do not rush, take your time, and most importantly set yourself up for success! I used this for myself and this helped me in my misery! Here’s a look at my morning routine and how I set my day up for success.
-literally rolled out of bed at 6am. Sat and on my bed and breathed deeply to create and find space in my back and neck.
-Drank my morning ritual of warm lemon water and and also some l-glutamine as I caught up on the morning news briefs and iced my neck.
-I followed with my bullet coffee(I brought my inversion blender with me) and my berries and a coconut chocolate drink with bone broth to kick start my day with sustained delicious energy. UMMMM, so good.
-I would then normally do a 15 minute full body yoga routine to help wake me up and uplift my body from the nights sleep. Unfortunately, the routine was too painful and instead I did some light stretches targeting my upper back, chest, and neck all while I held and gently lifted my head to create traction for my compressed hurting neck. I usually stood up against the wall in my room just breathing and lengthening my back in and up against the wall. This would help me align myself so I could work on melting my front body into my back and the wall to give me support all the while lifting my spine and creating more length in my neck out of my shoulders.
-9am – walked 1 mile to the studio listening to some Hawaiian happy reggae to continue my beautiful day.

Some of my mantras that were particular useful to me were…
take care of me
start with a good position
be present and observe
less is more
work smart
control and contain self
release
let go

We cannot always control the ‘life’ that is presented to us whether that be a particular situation, disagreement, argument with family or friends, problem at work, or personal challenge possibly with the state our body is in. Regardless, if there is a reason, deep down we know that there always is (whether we like it or not)….we do have a choice to control our mind and our actions to help better our situation. This in a nutshell is Pilates….the art of Contrology. THE ART OF CONTROL. I hope, that I can continue to fine tune my Pilates in and out of the studio to better serve my life and as a consequence the lives that surrounds me. I am so grateful.

LOVE,
Brooke

stay tuned on what comes next…:)

GRATITUDE!

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations

As 2016 soon comes to a close, I naturally spend time reflecting on the opportunities, obstacles, choices and experiences that have filled the year. 2016 was a busy year! Starting my own business, Le Bureau, was a big experience for me that I am excited to continue to grow and develop moving into 2017.   Thank you to all of you who have supported me and contribute to making Le Bureau such an amazing space to work on yourself!

Another big part of 2016 was ongoing struggles with some health issues (Gastrointestinal) dating back to 2012 (when I suffered from 2 severe cases of food poisoning back to back). Since 2012 I have experienced and sometimes suffered through several treatments, seen numerous doctors, and tried countless natural remedies. Through my experiences I have learned a whole lot! Although, I would prefer not to experience the feelings I have had and continue to endure, I am also so grateful for the pain and unpleasant feelings as it has not only helped me gain a greater perspective on life and what is important to me, but it has also taught me so much that I would otherwise not have been exposed to.

The difficult times and experiences has given me greater knowledge and has ultimately made me a better person, not only because I have become more aware of what I do, and how integrated and beautifully dynamic life is, but also how this obstacle has helped me connect and relate to more people who are also suffering in body or life. With that said, I have much gratitude for the lessons I have learned and the people who have helped me along the way. As always I have much gratitude for my loving husband, Pontus, who not only continues to believe in me and my abilities, but also helps me remember that life is too short not to go after what we really want to do!

With what ever triumphs or challenges you have experienced or continue to experience, I hope you are also able to hold much gratitude for your journey as I have mine.  Just remember to, get up, keep moving, stay integrated in your purpose, and as Pontus would say… “Just do it!”

It takes a lot of WORK!

by lebureauetc, posted in inspirations, Pilates

It takes a lot of work…

to recognize that…

“We’re not perfect, and it takes a long time to get there!”

I hope you can laugh and love this phrase as much as I do.

Jay Grimes, first generation master instructor(learned the method of Pilates from Joseph Pilates himself) said this to over 50 classical pilates instructors this weekend at Vintage Pilates in LA. What a great weekend! As some of you may already know, I am hoping to be accepted into Jay’s Pilates Master Program, called, “The Work.” I performed my assessment on the reformer this weekend and overall, I believe, I had a strong performance. I will find out in November wether or not I am one of the few chosen to participate in his program. The program is an intense 1-2 year graduate program for certified teachers who desire to go beyond Pilates workshops and truly understand how all the Pilates exercises and the apparatus work together efficiently and effectively.

Back to, “we’re not perfect, and it takes a long time to get there!” I love this saying as it reminds me that making any shift/change in my attitude, in my body, in my actions takes time. It takes a lot of “WORK” also. WE need to choose and become consciously aware of our actions and recognize what we can do to ease the discomfort. Being disciplined and steadfast in your actions will hopefully affect your realistic goals:) you set for yourself. Doing all of this we will still have more, and more, and more to work on. Enjoy your journey, learn from it, love yourself, and repeat!

Ciao,

Brooke