As we welcome November, I would like to offer my thanks to all of you who continue to support and practice with me at Le Bureau. I count my blessings often that I am able to do what I do and also have the opportunity to teach from my home.
It was not always this way. I started teaching Pilates in 2006 after completing a 600 hour +comprehensive classical Pilates training through Power Pilates, New York. Before this I taught school for 2 years after attaining my masters in teaching, at Seattle University.. I thought I was going to be a Kindergarten teacher as I chose to do my student teaching in a Kindergarten classroom at Our Lady of Lake catholic school, in Seattle, Washington. Well, that did not last long.
I married my husband, Pontus in 2003 and we moved to Iowa to begin his/our journey as he started Medical school. Although I started teaching as a substitute teacher in Iowa, I was drawn to movement and longed to teach exercise classes. On the side of teaching school, I become certified in personal training and acquired several other certifications to teach – about any class you can think of!
The practices of Yoga was my first fitness crush I discovered. There was a vibrant Yoga community in Des moines, Iowa and it became my ‘family’ away from home. I left Yoga classes feeling both energized but also calm. That said, the first 2 years in Iowa, I immersed myself in all things Anusara Yoga, a Hatha based practice that blends ‘heart’ themes.
In 2005, we moved to Ohio for a year for Pontus’s first year of medical rotations and I made the decision there not to renew my teaching license but instead to solely devote my time to learning about the body through many various fitness modalities. I worked as a personal trainer, taught fitness classes, including yoga, and also worked as a french tutor, and at a restaurant in the evenings. It’s amazing what you can do without Kids! It was here in Ohio, where I began my journey in Pilates. Out of curiosity to learn more and understand what Pilates was all about I enrolled myself in a weekend mat training through a Power Pilates studio in Sylvania, Ohio. After that weekend, I was hooked. Pilates made sense to me right away as I could grasp how it would benefit my body. I signed up for the comprehensive training not long after that. I had to let go of some of my classes I was teaching as well as the restaurant job to commit myself to the long training hours, but I enjoyed every second and I am so happy I chose this path.
After we left Ohio in 2006, we moved back to Iowa for a year, then moved to Redondo beach, CA for a year, and then to Salt lake city, Utah for 3 years before moving back to Seattle in 2012. I taught Pilates at ALL of these stops along the way. I also started the Pilates program at an Equinox in Manhattan Beach, CA in 2008 and also the Pilates program at Seattle Athletic Club(Northgate) in 2013. I have had made some amazing friends doing what I love to do over the years…
Fast forward to March 2016, I opened Le bureau Pilates in my home living room and I have been teaching from ‘home’ ever since. In October 2023, I started teaching group Pilates mat and Yoga classes and this has been a wonderful addition. The classes are a way to connect socially, physically and I love how it is becoming a small community. Thank you for trusting in me and being part of the Le Bureau community.
Please check out and enjoy my most resent Youtube tutorials and classes!
I believe that we are as strong in our core as much as we are open in our hips. To find a beautiful posture and superior balance in our bodies, we need both. For, if our hips are stuck tight and bound with no space we will not be able to access and use our strength in our daily functional movements.
2 tools to help you unwind tension in your hips is the hip hinge and finding a neutral pelvis.
When you perform a hip hinge -notice if your back rounds and bends when you hinge. You should instead aim to keep your back long and lifted. It seems simple to hinge the hips but our hips can hold a lot of tension and sometimes this simple exercise is harder that you may think.
A neutral pelvis is a position where the pelvis is neither too arched, nor too tucked. For me I sense balance on all my sides of my pelvis and one side is not working more than the other.
Understanding and executing these 2 actions in our movements will encourage more space and balance in our hips and will help us engage the bottom of our lower powerhouse (aka pelvic floor muscles) that are easily neglected in today’s modern world of sitting too much.
One scenario of why you may experience a lot of muscular tension in your hips and groin area is possibly because your thigh bones live more forward toward your quadriceps, instead of back toward your hamstrings. If this is your reality, welcome to the club! This is not uncommon. Being more quadricep dominant, usually indicates imbalanced pelvic floor muscles, and weaker hamstrings and gluteal muscles. When there is an imbalance between front and back bodies, poor balance, especially on one leg is usually a consequence. Poor balance happens when you are not able to integrate your body as a whole and connect to your midline. You may still have lots of strength but it is not balanced in your body side to side, front to back, and upper to lower body through your pelvic center!
To work on opening your hips to connect your upper and lower bodies better and enhance your balance, I recommend practicing your hip hinge, as well as being mindful to connect to a neutral pelvis!
As you hinge in your hips you can concentrate on drawing the root of your thigh bones back into the back of your hip socket. When you do that you should feel your quadriceps soften and find more connection of your gluteals and hamstring muscles. Maintaining a neutral pelvis where you are not tucking nor arching can help you integrate your whole body as one piece and feel connected on all your sides. Notice when you stand….do you feel more quadriceps or more hamstrings? Can you stand and notice both sides?
I have made a short video on my YOUtube channel to help you unlock your hips, (especially if you are, one of the many, who live more in your quadriceps than your hamstrings)! I demonstrate a hip hinge lying supine, and show you what to watch out for when sustaining a neutral pelvis! I hope this will be useful for you.
The 3 stretches I demonstrate are called, reclined hand to big toe pose – Supta padangustasana 1,2,3
These 3 stretches, done with neutral pelvis, release the muscles surrounding your pelvis to unlock your hips and therefore create better balance!
Once you think you found a neutral pelvis, its’ interesting what happens when you move. remember the pelvis is connected to your lower and upper body , so it is easily pulled around all day!
It takes time and patience to notice your pelvic tendencies. Not an easy thing to do if you are always in a hurry.:)
Finding neutral in my pelvis still a mindful practice for me. Neutral pelvis serves me well in all my activities. I feel grounded and integrated head to toe and more connected and balanced front to back and side to side.
At the biological level, aging results from the impact of accumulation of wide variety of molecular and cellular damage over time. This leads to gradual decrease in physical and mental capacity….the diversity seen in older age is not random…. “ – World Health Organization
This past weekend, I took a course named, – “FUNtional Movement and SmartFLOW yoga” with my teacher Annie Carpenter and another SmartFLOW teacher and doctor of physical therapy; Brenna Barzennick, PT, DPT. The workshop explored the 7 functional movement patterns:
squat
hinge
push
pull
lunge
twist
gait
These functional movements are a part of our daily life and done well, these movements can support healthy aging. We explored how walking involves all of the 7 functional movements! Can you feel all the above actions when you are walking? Interesting fact – We learned how walking speed can predict the probability of functional decline in older adults. Keep walking with good attention to posture:)
During this training, we learned that the hub for human movement, as well as all the above functional movements is called the lumbar-pelvic Hip complex (LPHC). The “LPHC” consists of the lumbar spine, sacrum, pelvis, femurs(thigh bones), and includesof 35 muscles! Some of the larger muscles in the “LPHC” include the gluteal muscles, erector spinae group, hip flexors and extensors, hip adductors and abductors, spinal rotators, abdominal muscles, quadriceps, hamstrings, calf muscles, and latissimus dorsi.
The heart of this training was to communicate and show how complex these basic functional movements are as they involve an intricate and sometimes tangled part of the body. Furthermore, there needs to be both participation and coordination of all 35 muscles to support the movements in a balanced way.
This was a great workshop! I felt grateful for the knowledge that I already knew as the information was being lectured and discussed among the group of yogis. The Lumbar Pelvic Hip Complex is essentially the Pilates powerhouse:). More reason to practice Pilates!!
In this post I would like to highlight how the practice of Pilates, with a well trained teacher – me:), and other practices done well day-to-day, will support us in all we do, and help us age with strength and vitality.
Some examples of everyday activities:
squat/hinge- toileting, up and down out of a chair/car/tub, picking up items on the floor or gardening, putting on and tying shoes.
push – pushing a shopping cart/stroller/vacuum, sliding furniture, opening doors.
pull –opening doors/cabinets/drawers, pulling a suitcase, lifting body up from the floor.
lunge – stair climbing, walking up hill, kneeling gardening, picking something up from the floor, cleaning house.
twisting – reclining behind you, tolieting, cleaning body, turing to look while standing/standing/sitting, cooking/dishes.
gait – the human gait depends on a complex interplay of major parts of the nervous, musculoskeletal, and cardiorespiratory systems.
As all functional movement forces are generated and transmitted through this ares in our body.
What is Pilates really?
Pilates =contrology = art of control = mind controlling your muscles.
What do we want the muscles to do/be?
Pilates wants us to find balance and have a balanced support of our structure on all sides to promote optimal alignment.
Powerhouse muscles that support our pelvic center (LPHC) are key to finding balance:
As mentioned above; there are 35 muscles supporting this region in our body….the following are just some ‘larger player’…
inner & outer thighs
hamstrings
gluteals
quadriceps
erector spine muscles
transverse abdominals,
oblique abdominals
pelvic floor muscles
psoas muscle
The above powerhouse muscles is just our ‘lower powerhouse!’ There is a ‘secondary powerhouse’ (also known as the ‘secondary hub’) that focuses more on our shoulder girdle and upper body. However, the pelvis (primary and lower powerhouse) is our first priority as it connects our 2 halves – lower and upper bodies. If our pelvis and hips are out of alignment there will be consequences to both our lower and upper body, where as if we have an imbalance in our shoulder girdle or secondary powerhouse it is less likely that it will affect our lower body too.
consider Pilates movements with a functional movement framework!
If you are familiar with the Pilates method, you can probably agree that Pilates it is no joke! The practice of Pilates is hard work and requires the practitioner to be attentive in body and mind, start to finish! Body awareness, including better understanding and appreciation of the 7 functional movements, coordination, balance, steady breathing, strength, mobility, and patience are just some of the many benefits one can achieve with steady practice.
I have practiced and taught Pilates for close to 20 years and I have learned a lot about my body and other bodies that I have been fortunate to work with. Reflecting back, I realize that many of my issues and my clients difficulties are a result of pushing too hard and/or trying to perform a posture without considering or understanding the functional movement within that posture. Moreover, bodies change and sometimes we, including myself, forget to listen and connect to our changes big or small and want to do what we did yesterday, but forget to consider how we are in the present. I am grateful that I now have more awareness of the 7 functional movements, from my latest training, that will remind me to balance my ‘situations’ – pushes with my pulls, my spacious shoulders, and my blossom with my squeeze etc etc.
If you have read my blog in the past, you know some of my past ‘situations.’ I have been through a lot and have much more to share, but that is for another post:). My ‘problems’ did not happen overnight or from a few practices, they were poor habits and unconscious tendencies that I neglected in my life for years and those same habits were showing up in my Pilates practice! As my teacher Annie Carpenter likes to say, “How you do one thing is how you do everything.”
I was content to practice in ‘auto – pilot,’ for several years not just in Pilates but in life too. I caution when people associate Pilates only to a set of exercises or ‘systems’ in classical Pilates, for example. Pilates is much more than just exercises. Pilates is ‘whole’ mind-body exercise! The important thing is ‘HOW’ you do it. More importantly than the ‘how,’ is your ability to change your how when your body and life circumstances change. Like everything the only constant in life is change and so it is a constant practice to stay present to your whole body so that you can adapt your practice to your changing body.
Ruthless = Pilates (especially practiced on the mat)
Mat Pilates, especially is not an easy practice. Many individuals think that practicing Pilates on the mat would be easier than the reformer. In contrast, mat Pilates, is a whole lot harder to practice as you are without an apparatus that gives you boundaries, support and leverage. The mat offers no support except the floor and sometimes a wall and some minimal props such as a ball or magic circle. It takes a lot of awareness to understand how to connect our many pieces!! Mat Pilates is demanding and dare I say ruthless!
If you have taken my Pilates mat classes in the past you may already know that I start my classes with variations on functional movements to warm up the body before just starting down on the mat with the 100! I like to start with standing warmups. That said, there is nothing wrong with starting a mat Pilates class on the mat, in fact its a great way to connect to your body and feel your back and how it connects or doesn’t connect and sense how your arms and legs connect to your center. However, starting on the mat can also be deceiving, especially for the beginner, as you may forget to maintain your posture and alignment when you are on the ground and gravity is not weighing you down (as it is when you are standing). Often, I find myself saying – “try not to fall asleep!” I obverse especially legs and arms “falling asleep.” Remember in Pilates, the arms and legs are just extensions from our core/powerhouse, so there should be some effort in keeping those limbs “awake.” The ground offers support, but you still need to be aware and maintain your alignment as if you are still standing with your two feet on the ground!
Everyone needs to tweak their own body differently to find their best alignment but, generally speaking you want to encourage yourself to be alert in your body feeling the center of head, over center of throat, over center of heart, over center of pelvic floor, over center of knees, over center of ankles, with your 2 feet simultaneously grounded and arches lifted.
Pilates is an incredible method that can enhance your function in daily life!Change is inevitable, and you may have to adjust and adapt your practice with age, but having more awareness of the functional movements, will help us accept and be okay with changing our habits, to find more balance and ease.
I am grateful to my personal journey. All my challenges and hardships have only made me stronger. My practice of Pilates feels better and better the more I listen, accept and adapt my practice to my changing body.
Curious to try a Pilates mat class with me? Here is the general outline to how I structure my Mat Pilates classes –
5 minutes – “arrive in body” general body awareness and simple stretches to get us in our bodies
10 minutes – “functional warmup” some simple functional movements and mobility exercises for spine, shoulders and hips. Think squats, lunges, planks, cat/cows, shoulder circles, hip circles etc..
40 minutes – Pilates mat flow encouraging ideas from our functional movement warmup! I regularly apply the idea of a ‘squat’ to the various exercises in Pilates…this way we can remind ourselves that we are practicing this method to feel better and move better in life…not just perform in mat class!!
End standing in our ‘optimal posture’ to feel the efforts of our practice:)
* Starting in August 2024, I am excited to offer my Thursday mat classes at my new home/Le Bureau location. I will have a bigger space as well as more ‘wall room’
A ‘mother tucker’ is someone who is stuck in a ‘tucked’ position.
-Brooke Oberg
Yes! I was a “mother tucker” for many years and still do catch myself tucking when it is not appropriate! If you have read any of my previous posts you already know this and probably have a good idea why too.:)
Not to say that ALL tucking is bad. In fact, some exercises you need to tuck to support the round back position. However, its important that when you do ‘tuck’ you are aware of how it is affecting your sacrum.
Our sacrum is a vulnerable area in our body and it’s worth our efforts to pay attention to how we integrate this area in our movements so that we can find more optimal alignment patterns and feel more freedom and move with more ease in our whole body. Remember its not all about what we do, instead its important HOW we do it and how we are incorporating our ‘whole body’ in our actions!
I hope the following will bring more awareness to your sacrum. I hope this awareness will convey how sacred our sacrum is and helps us consider how we manipulate this area in our body.
The sacrum in human anatomy is a large triangular bone at the base of the spine. It is situated at the upper back part of the pelvis, and connects our 2 pelvic halves(hips). The upper part of our sacrum connects to our lumbar spine and the base of our sacrum connects to the tailbone/(coccyx). Thus the sacrum connects the upper and lower body(heaven and earth); all our bodies weight pass through this location. Lastly, it is a concave shape as it is curved upon itself and the base of the sacrum, the broadest and uppermost part, is tilted forward. Meaning for optimal standing and seated posture, the low back/sacrum should be in extension – ‘in and up’ as opposed to being stuck in a tucked position.
Some other interesting things about the sacrum…
-The Romans said this part of the body was “sacred” or “holy” as it was used in sacrificial rites in protecting the genitalia (which in ancient times were considered sacred). In yogic spiritual anatomy, the sacrum is the home of Kundalini, a feminine – serphant like energy that sits coiled at the base of the spine.
-The sacrum is known to be the keystone of our pelvic bowl! It is in the sacrum, where life is created, just think about that!! Also, many of our vital spinal nerves start in the sacrum and the sacrum is one end of our nervous system that connects all the way up to our brain via the Vagus Nerve.
-Too add to this complex area, the sacrum is the location of 1 of our 7 energy centers of our body (svadhisthana chakra). This location of our sacrum governs our sensuality, sexual intimacy, our ability to give and receive pleasure, and simply be creative and in the ‘flow’ of our own life. When this area of our body is blocked or stuck for any reason, perhaps being to sedentary, injured, feeling not safe, etc, or in perhaps tucking too much….it can create many imbalances, upset our ability to connect to our parasympathetic nervous system, and create feelings of isolation, low libido, and detachment.
Now that we have more knowledge of the sacrum:
When do we tuck?
As I mentioned earlier, tucking is inappropriate and unnecessary most of the time unless you are integrating your whole spine and posture into the tuck; aka, round position ….think rollup, rolling like a ball, etc. Or perhaps you are mobilizing, creating length and space for your lower back with cat/cows or rolling bridges. With more fluid mobilizing movements such as cat/cow, remember that you are not holding the tuck for very long.
How to integrate the sacrum so it stays open and spacious in the tuck?
Tucking is useful to do in an effort to stretch and open our low back. However, with everything, it is easy to overdo the tuck and instead of creating more width and space, its easy to clench our low back/buttocks instead. In order to keep the sacrum spacious it is necessary to check in with your low back and notice your sensations. Here are some tips to help you with your tuck:
1 – when you are tucking and your low back in rounding, your whole spine needs to be in the round back position!! That means you are looking at your abdominals with your eyes and your scapula is brooding wide across your back and the back ribs are also fanning open to create space for your front spine and abdominals to deepen into.
2 – root your femur bones (thigh bones).
If our thigh bones are stuck forward this can pull on our low back muscles making it easier to collapse and yes – tuck! How to check if your things bones are forward – feel your groins if they are hard, usually your femurs are too far forward and you need to integrate some hip stretches that open up the back of your hip capsule so your femurs can glide back in the socket. Other times, you just need to check in with your lower body – if your knees hyperextend when you are standing, you are most likely a tucker. My advice for you is to soften your knees, ground and spread your feet wide in an even portion and stack your posture more appropriately. Think – center of ankle below center of knees, below center of pelvic bowl, keeping your knees soft of course!!
3 – energize your lower body. Remember your legs/feet are an extension of your powerhouse core, hip/pelvis/sacrum center. So its valuable to integrate these parts with full awareness in your movements. Careful not to let your limbs just hang and be an ornament…you want your limbs participating as much as your core. To do this, you need to hug your midline or energetically draw your shin bones in and your thigh bones apart to energetically open up your sacrum low back.. think of a see saw, lower limbs hug in to your middle to simultaneously broaden and open your upper thighs hips/low back.
The bottom line is that it is a good idea to pay attention to your posture and how it is affecting your sacrum and vice versa. When standing, sitting, and exercising etc, check in with yourself. Most of the time, you will want to keep your low back long, lifted and spacious in its’ lumbar/natural lordotic curve, which is essential to balance your spine and posture. When you need to tuck, remember that 1 – the whole body needs to be participating from your feet to your skull in your round, 2 – Energize your lower body by hugging your midline, and 3 – root your femurs bones! When in doubt, know that you never want the low back bones to push out and back in collapse! This happens all too easily in a tucked position. This congestion in our low back hips creates pressure and feelings of stickiness in our pelvis/hips/low back.
I hope reading this helped bring more awareness to your sacred bone, sacrum. Its a vulnerable area in our body that is easily neglected. Try to recognize this sacred bone, the sacrum. Maybe, also take a moment to reflect on the people and things in your life that are sacred to you. The things and people that usually matter most to us can also be neglected and taken forgranted. Bringing our attention to the sacred within and around us will hopefully uplift us and help create more inner lift and peace.
I have posted some recent videos on my you tube channel that are a good complement to this idea.
The song is one of my favorites!! It’s about being in LOVE, which is a constant compromise of BOTH standing your ground, and finding common ground.
Compromise is what I hope to inspire in my teaching and practice of both Yoga and Pilates… It’s important to “stand in our own body” and respect our own unique boundaries in our physical practice. It’s also valuable to remember that our bodies are ever changing and what may have been possible yesterday may or may not be not possible today. Having a flexible mindset, by listening to All of our bodies whispers is essential as we navigate through our lives and in our workouts. Maybe we could challenge ourselves more than we thought, or maybe our challenge is simply to negotiate different patterns of movement and be open and not be so rigid in our practice. There is always another way, idea, solution, point of view, side etc …to our stories and our body:) we are ever changing dynamic beautiful beings.
Recently I’ve stumbled upon a new practice that helps me navigate much more freely in my body and my life. It’s a breathing postural technique called ‘hypopressives.’ Although I am not an expert I have been practicing this technique for about 3 months now and I am a true devotee. It is a practice that serves my whole body. It does not take much time and is well worth my effort.
Those of you who read my blog, know my struggles and the pain I’ve endured in my right side body these past several years. My pain was very intense for a year after Pepper was born (almost 3 now). Although, I’m doing better, I still have work to do:). I have had an imbalance and injury in my right pelvis/hip/low back for years and chose to ignore this imbalance for several years as I was not experiencing pain. BIG MISTAKE. The past 3 years I have been doing more to help this imbalance and hopefully reduce my pain. Its a work in progress and I have found the postural breathing practice of hypopressives to compliment my practices of Yoga and Pilates to help me on my journey back to feeling at ease.
I learned about hypopressives after listening to a podcast, ‘The Vagina Coach’ that discusses all things women’s pelvic health. This podcast is a wealth of information and I would recommend that anyone who has a pelvis and especially to those of you who have had a vaginal delivery to have a listen! Hypopressives is a breathing practice performed using various simple postures. The practice creates a negative pressure in the pelvic cavity which helps the inner organs rise and return to a normal functioning position.
Here are several benefits I have experienced so far from hypopressives –
The breathing integrates postures and some gentle movement that has increased my ability to stay present with my breathwork. The outcomes i have desired from my breathing practice such as; connecting more to my parasympathetic nervous system, creating more inner space, helping my become more present etc etc has expanded and I feel the result! This practice is truly helping me SLOW down and reset my nervous system. This is huge as I have been stuck in my sympathetic nervous system for far too many years which I believe is the main source to why I have experienced so many challenges in my body.
The technique of hypopressives has also fine tuned my posture and helped me become more aware of ALL my sides and how they connect to my center. I believe my inner tissues (fascia) that connects all my internal organs had been stuck in a big tangled knot for years and this technique is helping me untangle and reorganize my inner body so I can feel at ease and stand tall without feeling as if I am being pulled down.
I have also experienced a deeper awareness of what it takes and what it should feel like when you “pull in and up”…which we do a lot of in Pilates.
Another great benefit is that its helping my internal abdomen release areas that have been stuck for a long time which has greatly helped my assimilation of food and my intra-abdominal pressure as a whole.
Most importantly this practice has helped me be my own observer. It’s not always pretty, but this self -awareness can shine a bright light on what we need to work on.
I hope reading this will ignite your curiosity to learn more and maybe practice hypopressives! It has been such a wonderful find in a dark time for me…maybe it could be wonderful for you too?
In summary, regardless if you choose to look up and learn more about hypopressives. I hope you can be grateful to all your unique problems and use them to be more curious to the ‘why’ and unlock and learn more about yourself. I have learned countless lessons that I wouldn’t have otherwise learned to the depths I understand them now if I have not gone through my challenges. I understand this attitude on life is not for everyone and I have often resisted this attitude initially too. When I do choose to be curious and look at the bigger picture of ‘why’ I learn so much and I am always grateful I dug a little deeper. It takes a lot of work to live out our best lives!
For me, teaching, practicing, and surrounding myself with like minded people who also understand that this lifestyle is a never ending compromise helps me stay on track.
Committing myself more to the ideas that everything is okay in moderation, a little bit goes a long way, “over doing” is just as toxic as “under-doing,” and lastly, there is never one right or one wrong way of doing anything! I call this my “goldilocks principle of Pilates and bread making, but it can be applied to all aspects of my life!
After depriving myself for years, I have been eating and baking sourdough bread for over a year (almost everyday and sometimes 2X/day)!
I do fondly remember loving bread and butter when I was young! However, I stayed away from eating ALL types of bread for several years for health concerns as I knew that gluten interfered with my body’s ability to optimally digest my food. Being hypo-thyroid, I have been coping with a sluggish digestion for most of my life after depleting my thyroid when I was a teenager.
As most of you may remember, during Covid, making sourdough bread was ‘on fire.’ Many people were proclaiming its benefits, one being better and improved digestion! I read that sourdough bread was easier to digest for many people as the acid in the bread from the active starter degrades the gluten. Furthermore, I learned that sourdough bread acts as a prebiotic fiber which means that the yeast in the bread help balance our bacteria in our guts! That is when my interest and ideas around eating bread (specifically sourdough) started to shift.
After learning about the health benefits I was curious if I could be okay eating sourdough bread? I was further inspired from a friend, Giovanni, who my family sees every year in Kona. When we are on the island, Giovanni makes us a fresh sourdough loaf every week we are there. I would eat his bread when we were on vacation and it was so good…I never felt that my digestion was an issue. I asked
him for a book I could use as a reference, (Flour, Water, Salt, Yeast, Ken Forkish) and I have been at “work” making bread since. Learning to bake my own sourdough bread has been challenging(especially in the beginning) , fun, and an ever evolving process! I have drawn many metaphors from my experience in baking sourdough to my Pilates practice.
Baking my bread I’ve learned that there is a distinction between under and over proofed bread. In other words, if I wait too long to bake my bread after the bulk fermentation stage my dough loses all structure, so it’s stretchy and slack when turned onto a work surface. The dough is also stickier than usual due to the lack of remaining gluten structure. Essentially, over-proofed means that the dough has run out of food. It’s exhausted. It’s been pushed past its limit and has no strength left. In really over-proofed dough the gluten strands will eventually break down, and the dough will collapse. This can happen before I put the loaf in the oven or it can collapse while its baking in the oven. There’s no strength left in the dough for it to maintain its shape anymore. I have felt this way in my body at times in the past after practicing Pilates and working too hard and/or for too long.
For instance, in Pilates, over working your body in any position for too long will fatigue and weaken your muscles and tissues, so it is necessary to keep moving! Remembering to move is nourishing and ‘feeds’ our bodies so we do not over work one position and break down our structures. Furthermore, continuous not rushed movement will help you stay light and bouyant on the inside, just how we want our sourdough baked bread! That said, continuing to move is easy to forget especially when you are trying to get it right! Maybe you are trying too hard?
In Pilates specifically, over tucking (tailbones) in all the exercises, even when that exercise/position would benefit more from a natural lumbar curve position of the spine is a very common position that is overdone and is held for too long. It can be challenging to know and feel if you are holding your tuck position and when to incorporate more of a neutral or ached position. Although there is a place for the “tuck,” it depends on many factors. For example, in what position is your body in? Are you moving? Where is your center of gravity? What is the rest of your body doing in that moment? As you see, there is much to consider, before you choose to tuck! Tucking our low spines needs more thoughtful attention, so there is balance between the front and back of our pelvis. Most importantly, please remember to keep moving and not stay in any one position for too long:).
A repetitive steady tendency to ‘tuck’ even when the exercise or position you are in (standing for instance), does not benefit from tucking will have consequences that will manifest in the rest of our body that are not necessarily the most healthy outcomes. Tucking promotes the upper spine to round and the front body/chest area to collapse. Furthermore, excessive tucking can tighten the front of our hips and groins causing imbalance in our muscles front to back. Our quads will turn on whereas our glutes and hamstrings will have trouble turning on which can result in the muscles in our glutes/hamstrings and low backs to tighten, weaken and shorten.
On the contrary, If you are in a round ‘C curve’ position, you must tuck to follow the natural movement of the spine and therefore, you must also ‘lift up’ in a round ‘C’ curve that continues out the crown of your head!
In most cases, I believe we over do the ‘tuck’ position unknowingly. For instance my teachers used to tell me to stop tucking and I had no idea I was doing it in the first place. Maybe this has happened to you too? Paying attention and checking in with ourselves and taking time to notice our inner sensations will teach us and give us more and more awareness to how our bodies should be feeling. Changing a habit is hard work, especially for us to change a habit we have been unaware of for maybe years!!! At first it may seem odd and not feel right, but remembering that everything, even this is a process, and finding balance and ease in our minds and bodies is always the goal!
In addition to not having the awareness of whether our tail is tucked or not, tucking our tail bones, could also symbolize our need to ‘protect ourselves.’ When we are insecure, and not living to our full potential of you we are inside, its easy to collapse into ourselves and feel lesser than. It can be challenging to stand tall when we do not even love and believe in ourselves. Just look at animals in nature, when they feel danger they curl up and ’protect’ themselves…
Getting back to my bread metaphor, dough that is under-proofed means that the yeast hasn’t produced enough carbon dioxide. The carbon dioxide gasses is what gives the dough its volume and openness. Therefore, for a beginner bread maker and Pilates practitioner who want to see results, it is necessary to have patience and trust in the process. With a regular consistent practice you should see results, but it does take time and practice.
You may be curious, how to know when the dough is over-proofed or under-proofed? This is similar to how to know if one is over or underworking some aspect in their Pilates practice! My answer to this is that you need to be flexible and consider many factors as you bake and or as you practice Pilates!
Specifically for Pilates, reminding ourselves to continue to MOVE the whole body is essential! In fact, Pilates could be described as one BIG exercise, or one movement that is constantly in transit. Furthermore, understanding that there is time for both, tucking and arching. Allowing ourselves to un-tuck and stand, sit, or lye in a ‘tall posture’ maintaining a healthy lumbar spine is as just as beneficial if not more than tucking our tails time to time to round our backs to enhance our powerhouse. Lastly, learning the Pilates method is individual and no set of exercises and or body positions will be ‘right’ for every body. At times depending on the body and the transition at hand, we may need to enhance more round or extension, but never will we stay too long, as this is what creates tension! Life is always in transition as our bodies must be as well.
For sourdough bread baking…Its not as simple as just following a recipe and going off the recipe baking times and various steps. Fortunately, a seasoned baker has baked enough bread that they know what to look for and waits just enough for the bread/dough to tell them when it’s ready! Its worth the effort to pay attention and listen to your body and watch your bread! As you bake bread, and train your body remember that under and over-proofing dough and under or over working your body just happens, even to the best bakers and best practitioners.:)
I truly believe we all are looking for things, people and situations that bring a sense of balance and/or middle ground to our lives. The same is true in our Pilates practice! Through my personal experience with baking bread and practicing Pilates I have had several occurrences when some incident/challenge positioned me to “act” in extremes….maybe starting at one end of a spectrum and then to the other side, and them back again and so forth! Finding middle ground and balance is work in progress and something I strive for more and more in all aspects of my life.
With everything, the more you practice the “goldilocks principle” in your body you will become more curious, sensitive, and open to changing any habits are not serving you. This practice to keep moving while staying present to myself, and live by the “goldilocks” principle is well worth the work!
Here are some things to consider next time you go on your mat:
*It’s important to have reverence for your lumbar spine and remember the goldilocks principle!
Consider finding more balance between the front and back of your spine! The front and back of your spine both need to be engaged and turned on to a degree as well. I find that sometimes there tends to be a misconception, that to achieve a strong core you should feel the burn on the abdominals and sometimes in this process of only paying attention to the “burn” sensation, one may forget and neglect other aspects of their body, in particular, their back body! In fact the low back should stay long, spacious and also participating along with the abdominals. This is difficult to understand as we do not see our and or notice our backs when we are focused on strengthening our abdominals on your font body. Therefore, as we engage our stomach muscles to our backs we need to remember to engage and strengthen our backs too! An example of this would be executing a plank, as the front and back bodies are working together to achieve a strong plank position!
When lying supine and you’re especially not “rolling/rounding” in an exercise, such as the hundred, leg circles, series of 5, etc etc…remember to root your tail bone. Not only will rooting our tail bone help us un-tuck and stay long and lifted in our low backs we will also establish a clear focal point to lengthen and grow out of, achieving a delicious counter stretch we all crave. From our pelvic center we will stretch our lower body in optosition to our spines growing and lengthening out the roof of our mouths! This action is easy to forget. I see it in myself, and others more than I want to admit.
Rooting our tail bones is essential even if your upper spines are lifted and curling off the mat, your tail should stay anchored to facilitate more of a two way stretch. Note that in even this position with your upper body lifting off the mat, you should not be tucking!! Instead you should be working hard to deepen your low abdominals in and up to support your low spines. Depending on the body, some spines will be on the mat and some may be imprinted…everyone is different. I find that when people finally understand and commit to rooting their tail bones, they notice that their low backs are no longer imprinted in the mat. They think however that they have to have their low backs on the mat to strengthen and work their low abdominals, so they will unroot their tail bones, “tuck,” just so they can feel their low backs imprinted! This is not healthy for your low backs and will cause more damage down the road if this pattern is repeated over and over as you are neglecting your back bodies and over working the front of your body in a shortened and more compressed state.
If you feel that you are somebody who easily uproots their tail bone, my advice would be to focus on keeping and creating more space in the front of your hips and more space in your front spine in-between your pelvis and your ribs! This is something we want. The challenging part is keeping this space and length in our bones as we execute exercises. Its definitely not easy, but this is where the work comes in. For example , we need to ‘scoop’ with out shortening and we need to deepen our low abdominals to our spines without dumping and compressing. Again, have reverence for your low spine and sense the “goldilocks principle” in your whole body where your front and back bodies equally participating in the workout.
When you are seated and moving in an exercise you may move in between your sit bones and tailbone depending what shape of the spine you are trying to achieve… if you are tall you should sit on or slightly in front of your sit bones and most definitely in front of your tail bone. If you are rounding your spine you should pay attention to sitting slightly behind your sit bones and in some positions, behind your tail bone, but be careful not to collapse in your upper spine, remembering to find length and space in the round!
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” right? Does something or one have to be broken to be fixed? On the same note, does one have to “hit rock bottom,” to change their practices and/or begin believing and trusting in themself?I wrote this post to encourage you to not only slow down, and listen, but to also believe in yourself enough to take action if you are feeling that something is not quite “right”.
I am guilty of not believing in myself, and placing more value on other peoples’ opinions instead of listening to my own intuition.My ‘problem’ had to get really loud for me to finally listen to it and take action.Consequences will accumulate and the problem/symptoms can become more intense and confusing if the root cause to what you did and/or what happened to you is never addressed.My unique and extraordinary story I have lived the past 17 years, has taught me a lot!A lot about the physical body, in particular my body, and the deep connections between the body/mind/spirit.Although, I am grateful for my experience and all of my lessons along the way, its been very challenging that I would not wish my experience on anyone.
I hope this post inspires you to dive deeper within your physical, mental, and emotional body and pay more attention.There is so much at play in our lives and our body will talk to us if something is not quite right.
The following is a glimpse inside part of my ‘problem’…
If you have read any of my previous posts, especially my last one, you already know that I have been experiencing pain this past year.It’s quite a dynamic and it has been hard to pin point a root cause and in my case possibly several root causes to explain my sensations.The one thing that has been clear, is that my pain lives only on my right side body.
My last post mentioned that I have integrated many practices to help relieve my upper body right side pain.Pontus, my husband, a physiatrist and an osteopath was able to also help derotate my neck that he believes to have been stuck rotated to one direction since I had a neck replacement back in April 2017 between C6/C7.Although this has noticeably helped my neck and shoulders to some incredible degree, except for when I am playing ‘Martha’ in the kitchen(as Pontus likes to say) and my right shoulder area can get agitated, the upper body practices and adjustment to my cervical spine has not been as useful, as I had hoped, in alleviating my pain sensations I have also been experiencing in my lower half.
I do have a 19 month old baby, and although I know all the caring for her has not made the pain better, and probably has aggravated the sensations I feel, I do not believe this explains everything.This past year I have woken up several times a week to intense throbbing pain in my right low back hip/pelvis.I’m afraid most nights I wake Pontus up and beg and plead for him to massage my right low back in hopes that I can be soothed back to dream land…How I wish I could sleep like Pepper!!
These past several months, I have known, deep down that something is still not quite right, I should not be in this much pain!My ‘pain’ has been intense this past year in my right hip/low back and pelvis.As you may already know, this past year, I have gotten MRI imaging of my lumbar, thoracic, and cervical spine.I also got a bone scan.The imaging showed no new areas of concern(does show my old compression fracture in my back between L1 and T12).As I contemplate what I did and why I am experiencing so much discomfort I remember an old yoga injury I suffered in my right hip.In fact, I have felt tightness and that ‘something is not quite right’ in my right hip low back, specifically dating since 2005, from this specific yoga injury.Fast forward to 2021, I feel as if this injury has increasingly spread to the whole right side of my body.Deep down, I always knew something was ‘off’ in my right hip, but ‘it’ wasn’t speaking loud enough to get my attention to take action. I recently got an MRI of my right hip.Although, I was not thinking the MRI would show much, I WAS WRONG!
My MRI of my right hip shows a severe anterior and posterior(rare) labral tear and extreme tendinosis of all my muscles within and surrounding my right hip.I have been feeling mixed emotions, but most of all, relief.Relief, that my sensations I have been feeling in my right hip/pelvis/lowback is most possibly a result from not addressing my old yoga injury.
I remember the incident as if it was yesterday.I was pushed forward in low lunge.The teacher knew I was flexible and came from behind me in my lunge pose and said, “oh Brooke, you can go deeper,” and she pushed my hips down and forward from behind.That moment something popped in my rt hip and I had trouble walking after for a couple of weeks.After this injury, I was aware that I was walking with a dramatic shift and had apronounced anterior tilt only on my right pelvis.At the time of my injury however, I was not worried, nor did I seek out treatment because the rest of my body functioned just fine and I was not experiencing pain. I was 25.
Now, age 43, and 3 kids later…I am experiencing ‘pain.’ I do not believe my pain is simply from the tear in my hip, but instead, all the muscle compensation!I believe the muscles that surround my right hip have been working overtime all these years to protect my hip!Muscles are there to protect our joints. Furthermore, I cannot believe ALL my ‘pain’ is from my old compression fracture I have between L1/T12, at my thoracolumbar junction. Although I know that this vulnerable and unstable part of my spine must be contributing to the problem, its not the main source (like I have thought to myself all these years).I also understand, perhaps, why I have not gotten better, in my right side imbalance, as I do believe that I’ve changed my ways and attitude especially in the past several years to heal myself and my body since this experience.My body has been stubborn to adjust and transform with all the practices I have integrated.
One of the muscles I know to be wound up and tight from all my compensation is my Psoas muscle (on my right)!
If you are unfamiliar with the Psoas muscle here is a little info:
Our psoas is the deepest and one of the largest and dynamic muscles in our body. It’s referred to being the muscle of our soul as it is deeply enfolded into our core, internal organs, and central nervous system.The psoas is located underneath our superficial abdominals and lies deeply connected to the center of our body and spine, it has a direct rapport with our superficial core muscles and internal organs.The psoas connects to our diaphram/T12, and extends along our spine through our SI joint down into our pelvic bowl.It then wraps around our pelvis via the illiacus and then down on on our femur bone deep in our hip(inner upper thigh).There are 2 muscles, one on each side of our left and right pelvis and spine.If our psoas muscle is over worked/tight/or weak it can unintentionally cause a slew of physical imbalances, internal turmoil with our organs and, even cause us to enter our empathetic nervous system with its connection to our diaphragm.
The unfortunate truth is that, even if you do not have an injury to your hip/pelvis/spine etc etc, if you are an active person and not aware of this deep postural muscle, you may not be doing enough to help it relax, release and restore!For the psoas does more than just flex at our hips and is said to have a more orbital quality of movement so it is integrated in all that we do!It can also get extremely tight from sitting all day. Furthermore, being integrated with our diaphragm and our central nervous system, it is also known to be the ‘waste basket’ for our held feelings of emotional trama. Sometimes when you release the hips, you are simultaneously releasing ‘old stories’ that have been locked up inside. It’s important to value rest and restorative actions to keep the psoas supple, so we also feel vital and free in our body, mind and heart.
Its quite the paradox! For as much as we participate in actively strengthening our core muscles, we need to equally learn how to and allow ourselves to relax and release this deep core muscle called the psoas.A fluid, elastic, released psoas, will help us sustain a healthy posture/spine, healthy functioning internal organs(gut balance), positive outlook on life, a healthy lower to upper body connection, and beautifully long lean midsection.
If you are practicing Pilates you are already a step ahead of most people.You already are aware of the importance of paying attention to the whole body and not just your abdominals.You also value spinal health.You diversify your spinal movements keeping the joints and ligaments and tendons healthy and well lubed with flexing, extending, rotating, and side bending without overdoing.You are aware that every part of you (body/mind/spirit) is participating in some way or fashion in your Pilates practice…
QUICK UPDATE –
I recently had a cortisone shot in my rt hip and botox in my piriformis and quadradus lumborum (psoas muscle lies too deep to inject).The cortisone shot helped initially but dampened quickly after the local anesthetic wore off.The botox has maybe helped a little too as the waking up in the middle of the night to throbbing pain in my right low back/right hip/pelvis has dampened.That said, I am still suffering with persisting tightness and pain to my right side pelvis/hip and low back.The pain travels sometimes up my right side spine and also sometimes down my leg into the arch/sole of my right foot.Some days are better than others!I am trying to keep a positive outlook and remind myself that this is just a ‘wave’ in my ocean, and that ‘nothing lasts forever.’
Pilates, swimmimg, gentle stretches, whiskey, infrared sauna, dry brushing, breathing meditation practices, and looking at all the positives in my life, helps me keep my life in perspective to the greater picture and hopeful that things will begin to get better.I have so much to be grateful for; not only do I have the most amazing, loving, and supportive husband and family, I have more knowledge and more insight to choose better and do what’s right for me moving forward.
My next step is to try PRP for my hip and also my irritated facet joints near my thoracolumbarjunction in an effort to reduce inflammation in those areas and hopefully nourish the surrounding muscles and the surrounding tissues in May.If this helps, I plan to do it again. In the meantime, I will try to continue to remind myself to – love, listen, forgive, and honor the beauty that lives inside of me.I hope to heal with time. I will keep you posted.Until then, I hope you take time to actively listen and believe in yourself enough to take action!
The below are a few simple insights/practices to help you sustain a healthy balance between your deep psoas and core surrounding muscles…
-“F*** the tuck” – excuse my language on this one, but I still see many people that are still over tucking and hardening their groins beyond what is necessary in an effort to strengthen their core muscles and feel “tight”. Like everything, there is a place for the tuck (‘rolling like a ball’ ‘open leg rocker’ for example), but is has to be in relation to what the rest of your spine is doing and also if you are weight bearing or not. I feel that all this tucking and groin hardening in the Pilates method or any exercise practice can have the reverse affect of what one is trying to achieve. Instead, soften your groins, scoop your abdominals in and up, lift your hip points, and lengthen your spine!
-Sit and stand TALL.When sitting feel your 2 sit bones rooting down and when standing(soften your knees) ground as evenly as you can through your 4 corners putting a little more weight over your inner and outer heel opposed to your toes.In opposition to rooting/grounding through your sit bones or feet, lift and lengthen your spine.As always wear the center of your head over your heart and the center of your heart over the center of your pelvic bowl.
-Take some time each day and do CRP, Constructive rest position.Rest lying on the floor in a neutral spine position(allowing natural curves of spine) with knees bent and feet flat on floor hip distance width apart.Breathe deeply and slowly for 5-15 minutes/day.“I visualize inhaling down into my pelvic bowl and exhale gently zippering up through my front spine out the crown of my head.Grab a pillow for your head if you are over arching your head and your base of chin is not vertical to the floor.”
-Pressure point release balls!Lie down and breathe big for at last 30 seconds on any spot on your abdomen/hips/gluteus muscles to release any tight knots.I love using these balls right below my rib cage, slightly above my hip bones closer to my spine, and on my glute medius muscles.Be sure to release both sides:)
-Educate yourself!My favorite books on the Psoas
The Psoas Book
-by Liz Koch
The Vital Psoas
-by Jo Ann Staugaard-Jones
“it is not about being fully healed and then starting your life, it is about embracing healing as a life long journey while allowing genuine connections to organically emerge along the way.”
If you have read my blog you may have figured out by now that I have struggled to surrender and soften my efforts. I have had a tendency to be too disciplined and sometimes ‘overdo’ it. I have started this blog in part to help myself take my own advise to be more self-compassionate, truly listen, and believe in my own intuition. This takes incredible trust and love of self!
I believe that by writing this blog, I have become a better listener, but still, it is an evolving and imperfect journey along with everything else.
More recently, approximately March 2021, I over stretched, strained something in my neck. Fast forward to now, November 18, 2021, I am doing much better! I do still struggle with muscle tightness depending on what I am doing but do feel equipped to navigate my discomfort with the many lessons I have learned from being in relentless pain these past several months.
My husband, Pontus, who is an osteopath, was able to work on me which no doubt is, pretty special, but with everything else, it also has its’ challenges! I know it was hard for him to deal with me especially after having to care for his patients all day long. He was tired and impatient and I was also impatient, in pain, and wanting clear answers to explain my uncertain state. Regardless, I am very lucky to have my husband. He knows my story, my body, and my tendencies and was undeniably helpful in my healing & recovery.
Pontus believed ‘some’ of my incredible discomfort was most likely caused by a rotation at the base of my cervical spine where I had my disk replacement b/t C6 and C7 in 2017. I must have exasperated this rotation. I could speculate forever on why?…but understand that it is simply a consequence to my tendencies to ‘do.’ At times, my pain sometimes was so bad that it encompassed my whole right side body, from my right side occiput to my right low back, but sometimes I was such in a flare state that I had irritation that continued down all the way to my right foot! Continuing to breastfeed through my pain was a blessing and a curse. Pontus was and still helps me de-rotate my upper thoracic/cervical spine with muscle energy technique, where I get stuck rotated to the left. He also advised that I practice some daily muscle energy work in my upper spine to help strengthen and stabilize this very unstable area of my body. I still perform muscle energy in my neck daily!! In addition to Pontus manually working on me, I did accupuncture and/or massage weekly at times. Although these modalities helped short-term, they were not able to stick and help long term.
Due to my pre-existing conditions in both my neck and my old compression fracture in my low back I had MRIs of my lumbar and cervical spine, a bone scan, and blood work done to make sure the pain I was experiencing wasn’t more serious. Luckily, the tests showed no significant information to explain my discomfort. This was also a blessing and a curse! Sometimes I thought, is it all in my head!? Quite possibly! I do know that my head played a significant role, both in how I positioned it physically and also metaphorically speaking.
Are you wearing your head in front of your heart? Or are you holding your head with your heart?
From as early as grade school I can remember being taller than most everyone in my class including all the boys, I was very insecure about this, this continued all the way into high school, where I would purposefully slouch and hang my head to one side so I would be a level to my other peers. I look back at this and wonder why I didn’t stand tall and be proud of my height? As you already know, I know the answer to my own question! I was not secure in who I was, felt powerless and unworthy to be me. Fortunately, after experiencing a tumultuous couple of years in all facets of my life, I hit rock bottom my freshman year in college, but in the end, I was able to choose me! I truly did a full circle, my self image changed drastically for the better and I started to love myself more and more. Interestingly, not only did my self image transform, but also how I held myself changed, including how I positioned my head. My posture wasn’t perfect however, and its been evolving (I believe) for the better ever since, of course along with my own self image.:)
Currently, my posture has suffered with the demands of caring for a new baby and also my tendencies to “do” and neglect what my body is telling me. Pepper is now 14 months, and although she is still quite petite …23 Ibs, its been a lot of holding, breast feeding, bathing, feeding, twisting turning etc etc. The steady demands of caring for Pepper and the stress I put a on myself has definitely taken a toll on my posture! This coupled with loose ligaments and general instability especially at L1/T12 from my old compression fracture and disk replacement between C6/C7 has been difficult for me to sustain freedom and ease in my spine!
I am writing this post to reflect on my experience these past several months in hopes that what I say may help you, if you find that you are struggling with neck, shoulder, back, body pain. I hope that you will read this feeling some hope that your pain will go away and that there are simple things you can do to help yourself.
I learned somewhat quickly that alleviating my pain temporarily was as simple as taking the time to align where my head was at, both from a metaphorical and physiological standpoint. It’s interesting how the 2 affect one another. Furthermore, My pain significantly lessened when I physically reminded myself to hold my head with my heart, instead of forward of my heart which is where it wants to go. My head also, naturally aligned more with my heart when I committed more time for self care. This is not a simple action to take when you have a newborn!! I found it to be very beneficial to work from my “head” first, not only physically with my posture, starting at my head and allowing the alignment benefits to cascade down, but also in my own thoughts! I definitely had my moments of playing a victim to my pain…especially in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep! However, this attention I would give to my pain lessened the attention I would give to taking the steps to feeling better and seeing the joy and beauty that was in me and that also surrounding me.
Below is a brief summary of some ideas/practices that helped me feel better! Remember the following are practices and ideas, and most if not all of the below are things I still work on and practice daily to keep me feeling better…
PHYSICAL PRACTICES – First you need to align and “wear your head over your heart!” Then do the following…
-practice muscle energy from all sides of your skull with the heel of your hand to strengthen & stabilize…isometric exercises.
-“wear your smile from ear to ear” practice keeping the base of your chin in and down towards your throat. Slight chin tuck.
-extend the roof of your mouth to the crown of your head
-“Stand your ground,” Stand tall and be proud of who you are.
-in general, make smaller more precise movements. Progress takes time and steady practice – little by little, bit by bit…!
MENTAL PRACTICES –
-“What is the lesson?” What if I am experiencing this pain to help someone else not have to experience pain? How can I use this experience to help and serve others?
-“Less ego and control, more universal and flow.” Soften, relax, breathe and let be
-“Forgive, no self judgement”
-“Do less and Be more”
Lastly, if you’re hyper mobile, unstable, have pre-existing conditions, and a mover like me, you may want to consider doing prolo-therapy or PRP(platelet rich plasma) for your vulnerable areas, especially if you have good, healthy blood. I did undergo PRP in both my low back around my old compression fracture and also more recently around my disk replacement in my cervical spine. I know it has made a positive impact. I am noticeable more stable in my ligaments and joints and therefore, experiencing less pain and persistent irritation caused from the instability.
I have a class on my Vimeo account – “upper body tune up” I recently made that shows some of the physical practices I would do to help me with my pain.
I hope this helps and please reach out with feedback or questions.
Happy new year to you all. I have a new Pilates video to share with you on my vimeo account. The practice begins with 10 minutes of simple yoga salutations to ‘wake up’ the body before diving into a 30 minute Pilates mat workout. The practice is a perfect practice for the morning, especially when you are not at home and have the luxury of space. You can expect to stay on your mat from start to finish…no side lying leg kicks here.
The one instruction I give, sprinkled throughout the workout, is “Breathe into your back body.” The back body is beneficial to be aware of, not only because it gives you a cue or reference point from which you create more inner space, but also because it is symbolic of the universal energy within us. The front body on the other hand is symbolic of our ego or of a more singular energy. Although both are necessary and good, the back body is the unseen energy and therefore more of a challenge to be aware of, making it easier for our ‘egos’ to take center stage.
The practice of Pilates is all about taking a step back and softening our egos in order to connect us to our back. This concentrated physical effort to balance our front with our back (ego with universal), I believe, can also indirectly connect us to something ‘bigger’ than ourselves. Clearly a strong and tall ego will allow us to move forward and reach for our desires. However, too much ego, without the consideration of the unseen and universal back energy, could surely deplete and exhaust us. Balancing the two, with a slight edge to the back body, will allow for something better.
Personally, I have experienced both extremes! I have had too much ‘ego’ with too much discipline and rigidity in my practices, without considering the current situation and others involved, making for an unhappy ending. Also, in my physical practice, most of you know that I have a love affair with backbends. I love them so much as I feel invigorated every time I do one. However, I have learned that if I do not take the time to also balance my practice of backbends with something to bring my back and me back to neutral, all the back bending or emphasis on opening up my front body, is like drinking too many cups of coffee. We all know too much coffee, although oh so good, can lead you to feel anxious, jittery, and just not well. That said, it is valuable for me to also incorporate some basic forward folds (as I breathe in my back body) in my practice of backbends.
The practice of Pilates encourages us to connect to our backs, both physically and metaphorically. It’s a beautiful and humbling practice that hopefully reminds us all to soften more, let go more, yield more, forgive more, be okay not to be “right” more, all without losing our capacity to love ourselves and stand tall in who we are.
I hope you breathe into your back…
Aloha, Brooke
delighting in a “Bigger Picture” – Kukio Beach, HI
Dichotomy of allowing yourself to be held before you can be independent and free…
Generally speaking this pregnancy compared to my other 2 (Ginger – 13 and Coco – 10) was challenging. I have had more minor inconveniences, such as hormonal acne around my smile which in the big picture is no big deal (especially with all the mask wearing I am doing these days), but it still makes me feel self conscious. I also experienced a major episode early in my pregnancy which made me appreciate the “gift” of being pregnant and getting another chance to hold and nurture another beautiful creation.
When I was 14 weeks pregnant, and had traveled to Texas for a Pilates conference, I had a major bleeding event. I woke up in the middle of the night after my first day at the conference to go to the bathroom but instead bled a lot of blood. My first thought was that oh-no, I lost my baby! I was shaking with fear and felt so much shame for what just happened. In my head, I told myself that it was stupid to come to the conference in the first place! I was upset at myself, as I was thinking that I must have “overdone” it again, in addition, to drinking too much coffee and matcha tea. What did I do? What lesson do I need to learn now? Can’t I be done with learning lessons for a while?
I called Pontus and sadly, still in a lot of shock, told him what I just experienced. He tried to comfort me and told me it would all be okay and that we do not know anything for certain. “Try to get some rest,” he says! It was 3am and I was wide awake and even though I was tired, there was no way I would have been able to sleep. I ended up changing my flight and came home on the next earliest flight possible. As I was packing my bags to leave for the airport I knew that worrying and looking up stuff on google would not help my current emotional state so I decided to sing to try and calm myself. I just started singing without knowing what to sing. I was so frightened, but was determined not to worry about it. I told myself “I am okay, I know my baby is okay and I started singing –
i love you
i love me
i’ll be gentle with you
i’ll be gentle with me
i love you
i love me
you are my baby
all of my dreams
i care for me
i care for you
i’ll be gentle with me
i’ll be gentle with you
stay with me
i’ll stay with you
please my baby stay with me!
i love you
i love me
i promise to be gentle with you and with me.
Baby, stay with me
i love you
i love me
Arriving back at Sea Tac, Pontus and the girls picked me up, and as soon as I saw their faces I could not hold my emotions, and the tears came streaming down my face like waterfalls. Pontus held me and I soon realized that the girls had no idea what was wrong with their Mamma as Pontus had not mentioned anything to them yet. We got in the car and I told the girls what happened. They were sad, but so sweet, as they tried to make me feel better. That whole day still remains a blur, I simply rested and prayed that my baby was okay. The following day, I saw my doctor. I held my breath as I lay on the table for the ultrasound. I closed my eyes, said one more prayer and soon I heard a strong little heart beat inside. I opened my eyes, smiled and cried, and knew that everything would be okay. I made a promise to myself to take it easy more, and continue to practice listening to what my body is telling me. Less pushing, doing, efforting, and instead, more yielding, softening, and surrendering. At that moment, I knew that this pregnancy was a beautiful gift and I am lucky to have another opportunity to experience the miracle of life within me.
I am now going on 38 weeks and I have kept my promise. Although I practice everyday, I have been gentle and loving to myself and my baby. I take it easy, rest when I need to and I am proud of myself for listening and not competing. I understand now that my bleeding experience needed to happen for me to slow down, and not continue with my old habits of being in autopilot – doing things just to do them. In a way, I am grateful for that experience and what it taught me.
Even if you are not pregnant, sorry men, …you can still visualize and imagine what it is like to be pregnant, holding and nurturing a miracle inside(your heart center) will help you lift your middle and enhance your breathing to help you sustain more space within, then maybe you are used to practicing.
With this heightened body awareness and my vow to soften and listen more, my connections have been so much deeper and allowed me to access parts of myself that have been challenging. I’ve gotten better at letting go of my expectations of what the practice SHOULD bring me and instead have allowed the practice to literally hold and support me. Listening to my body and asking what it needs that day to feel better in that moment to accommodate myself and the needed space for my baby has been such an important practice. I am not simply “logging in another session.” My breath has been deeper, my body more lifted and spacious and I treat each movement I take with a little more care and percision just how Mr Pilates intended the practice to be.
The mindfulness that both practices of Yoga and Pilates require have helped me feel held and supported. The more consistent I am with practicing the more held and supported I feel. This idea is so important in the practice because it will allow you to feel and experience more of yourself to make the deeper more meaningful connections that you need.
My early experience during this pregnancy has helped me allow the practice to literally “hold me.” Just how the loving faces of my girls and Pontus holding me at Sea Tac, I was able to let go, soften and let my emotions flow out to and clear my state to literally, get myself back together. I feel fortunate to have not only a loving husband and 2 amazing daughters, but also 2 disciplines that I can count on to hold me. I do hope you have found people and things in your life that also hold you!
Now, about to give birth to another baby girl, I feel so lucky to be the one to hold her. I feel our amazing connection and hope I can continue to hold her and support her out of my womb in the ways she needs so she can also feel and learn what she needs, to be free and independent without me. I was given such a beautiful gift, I know it is an opportunity that will teach and show me how to navigate and proceed into the next chapter of my life.
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